I have been asked several times about why I am even writing at all. Well I have always written things, even in high school, I had several short stories about urban vampires, etc. I have an odd love affair for books. If it has words in it then I will likely want to read it. In my apartment you will find stacks of books everywhere from all types of genres. I do enjoy paranormal, urban fantasy, true crime, history, etc. As a side note, I am extremely weird about my books and do not like to lend them out so don’t ask ( just joking..but seriously don’t ask to borrow them.) My mind has always been a tad askew, I have a colorful mind, and my thought process has been called strange at times. Needless to say I have been stamped as weird. I would rather read a book, than watch t.v. Books relax me, I can travel the world, fall in love, stab people and get away with it in a book. I can create my own reality through my writings. If I don’t like someone, I can insert a scene where I blow them up with explosive cereal.
Does it make sense? NO. But it clearly doesn’t have to because I am the “Decider” (evil laugh). In my opinion a well written book allows me to identify with the characters. I want feel like I know the characters personally. My emotional tie to those in the book needs to be strong, I want to cry, laugh, and feel rage when they do. That is what I call a great book. I have a few authors that I absolutely love and they have inspired me to move forward with my dreams such as Laurell K. Hamilton, J.R. Ward, and L.A. Banks. There are many more that I love but these three are in a special place in my heart.
Lightening struck one day and reminded me of my vow to write in April. I was at work, depressed, crying, and trying to find out how many days I could miss without getting fired. Long story short I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders and felt like my knees were about to give out. I earned a degree from Ole Miss, and I was working on my Masters through Colorado Technical University (CTU), and I still could not find a job that would pay me decently in Mississippi. Simple solution would be to move out of Mississippi, but unfortunately it is NOT that easy. I greatly dislike “customer service” call center jobs and here I am stuck at another call center wearing a headset and getting cursed out every day. Well on the day of my mental breakdown, I had to seriously consider what I wanted to do with my life. I have never understood the concept of working just to live, the thought still boggles me. It was then that I decided that I would not live another second of my life working just to make a paycheck at a job that I dreaded coming to. *Let me interject that my job was not hard, I just did not want to do it. I need to have a passion for something or I hit a mental block.* I went home and went straight to my couch and it was there that I had to do something I was passionate about. I wanted to “be me”, I felt boxed in, unable to be myself. It was then that I had an epiphany, in a book I can be whoever I want to be (yes I said epiphany).
My definition of success may not be your definition but I feel like if you are passionate about something, then you alone can determine your success. If I put my heart into something, it will be a success, at least by my own standards. It was then that I decided to put full time effort into FINISHING a novel. I scour the internet all day (mostly at work) trying to figure out the best way to accomplish this goal. I think I am on the right track, and now I just need to actually finish.