Why Write?

I have been asked several times about why I am even writing at all.  Well I have always written things, even in high school, I had several short stories about urban vampires, etc.  I have an odd love affair for books.  If it has words in it then I will likely want to read it.  In my apartment you will find stacks of books everywhere from all types of genres.  I do enjoy paranormal, urban fantasy, true crime, history, etc.  As a side note, I am extremely weird about my books and do not like to lend them out so don’t ask ( just joking..but seriously don’t ask to borrow them.)  My mind has always been a tad askew, I have a colorful mind, and my thought process has been called strange at times.  Needless to say I have been stamped as weird.  I would rather read a book, than watch t.v.  Books relax me, I can travel the world, fall in love, stab people and get away with it in a book.  I can create my own reality through my writings.  If I don’t like someone, I can insert a scene where I blow them up with explosive cereal. 

Does it make sense? NO. But it clearly doesn’t have to because I am the “Decider” (evil laugh).  In my opinion a well written book allows me to identify with the characters.  I want feel like I know the characters personally.  My emotional tie to those in the book needs to be strong, I want to cry, laugh, and feel rage when they do.  That is what I call a great book.  I have a few authors that I absolutely love and they have inspired me to move forward with my dreams such as Laurell K. Hamilton, J.R. Ward, and L.A. Banks.  There are many more that I love but these three are in a special place in my heart.

Lightening struck one day and reminded me of my vow to write in April.  I was at work, depressed, crying, and trying to find out how many days I could miss without getting fired.  Long story short I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders and felt like my knees were about to give out.  I earned a degree from Ole Miss, and I was working on my Masters through Colorado Technical University (CTU), and I still could not find a job that would pay me decently in Mississippi.  Simple solution would be to move out of Mississippi, but unfortunately it is NOT that easy.  I greatly dislike “customer service” call center jobs and here I am stuck at another call center wearing a headset and getting cursed out every day.  Well on the day of my mental breakdown, I had to seriously consider what I wanted to do with my life.  I have never understood the concept of working just to live, the thought still boggles me.  It was then that I decided that I would not live another second of my life working just to make a paycheck at a job that I dreaded coming to.  *Let me interject that my job was not hard, I just did not want to do it.  I need to have a passion for something or I hit a mental block.* I went home and went straight to my couch and it was there that I had to do something I was passionate about.  I wanted to “be me”, I felt boxed in, unable to be myself.  It was then that I had an epiphany, in a book I can be whoever I want to be (yes I said epiphany). 

My definition of success may not be your definition but I feel like if you are passionate about something, then you alone can determine your success.  If I put my heart into something, it will be a success, at least by my own standards.  It was then that I decided to put full time effort into FINISHING a novel.  I scour the internet all day (mostly at work) trying to figure out the best way to accomplish this goal. I think I am on the right track, and now I just need to actually finish.